HARM is a mode of life that breaches all sorts of safety protocols, sometimes even in the name of progress, often by ways of a lesser evil than would normally take place.
But harm is harm. It’s intolerable to God.
God is love and he made us to love by respect. Love is manifest by respect.
Respect comes by many names: Responsible, and his brother, Empathy. Sensitivity, and his brother, Peaceable. Equitable, and his brother, Consideration. Then, of course, there’s Tender.
But Harm comes by many names, too: Excuse, and his brother, Blame. Malevolence, and his brother, Spite. Fear, and his brother, Pride.
Respect enjoys much esteem. The ladies like him. His friends, too. He knows the work of love he’s put into his character. He cannot harm you.
Yet Harm finds the ladies scarce. Pity the woman who is wooed by his charm.
Respect – and all his brothers – bid all you ladies this prayer: that you find the kin of Respect; that you wed such kin so you’ll be safe and loved like you deserve.
A POEM ABOUT RESPECT AND HARM
I may bid you ‘respect’,
And hope not to harm,
And though it’s not my intent,
Can’t you see my charm?
(No, your charm’s part of the problem)
Sometimes I get angry,
Even though I’m trying to be good,
You know bad things can happen,
Even though they never should.
(Violence should not ‘happen’; not even once)
Abuse is not what I want for you,
I know it’s something wrong,
But can’t you see what this is?
It really won’t last that long.
(No, that’s an excuse)
Can’t you bear me a little longer,
Come on; a second chance,
Can’t you see what this is,
It’s how all couples dance.
(No, violence is not how couples dance)
Sometimes what you do angers me,
Can’t you be more careful, alright!
Sometimes you deserve it,
When with you I pick a fight.
(No, she never deserves it)
I may say some nasty things,
I might pull at your clothes,
But I’m not really that bad,
I’m really not one of your foes.
(No, you are)
I don’t mean all that I say,
I’m just messing with your head,
So why do you worry,
That one day you’ll be dead?
(Violence can be psychological too)
No, I will not allow you,
The sort of freedom you say you need,
Then you say I’m controlling,
But your freedom I will not feed.
(Controlling a partner is violence as well)
But you know I’m not perfect,
We both know that for sure,
So I’m sorry very much,
If your face hits the door.
(No, that’s not an apology; you’re not really sorry)
I’m not kidding here,
This affects anyone, you know,
To snub those who harm,
Is the only way they’ll grow.
There’s only one way to put a stop to harm. To nip it at the bud, and to address it once for all, so it cannot happen again.
I post this in the sincere wish that it does not bring harm but more awareness to the issues many women face silently and secretly.
As a husband I know how shaming these issues are for men. Occasionally as husbands we fail in being respectful whilst stopping short of violence. But there are those men who see no wrong in what they do. They justify their controlling behaviour. And there are those men too who are genuinely too fearful to reach out for help.
Certainly many women would escape to safety if it were that simple. Tragically, it’s never really that simple. (Imagine the thought of your partner ‘tracking you down’ and never feeling safe, especially when there are kids involved.) Like a pornography addiction, domestic violence is a secret and silent and very shaming evil going on in far too many homes, many of which are Christian homes.
I’m not writing this because I know your secret, because I do not know your secret. I’m not ‘onto you’. But you may read this with that sense of paranoia and it’s not my intention to scare you, but it is my intention to empathise with your situation.
If you need to, seek help. I will pray that you will see God helping you to that end.